Have you ever clicked on the notification from Facebook to check out your ‘memories’? You may have found old photos and posts from the same date years ago. Vacations, festivals, graduations, and announcements mark the uplifting moments to rekindle. However, there are also tough times that maybe only you know about because you can decipher the change in your writing, your mood. What I noticed in my Facebook memories was a drastic shift in emotion during a very specific time every year: the Fall/Winter. This is otherwise known as seasonal depression.
According to the Mayo Clinic:
“Seasonal affective disorder (SAD) is a type of depression that’s related to changes in seasons”
Seasonal depression usually occurs around the Fall and as daylight savings time shifts us into a period of less sunlight. It will last until we Spring forward and gain more light. You can treat seasonal depression with light therapy (a special light that gives off energy similar to sunlight), among other treatments.
I consider myself an avid social media user, most frequently scrolling and posting to Facebook, followed by Instagram. I got into the habit of reviewing my Facebook memories almost daily for a number of months. Memories are posts that you made or were tagged in by a friend the same day in a previous year. You may see the photos you took of your child this date last year or a post you made about an issue in the media this time three years ago. If you look long enough you may even uncover your own personality shifts.
At the time I began to ‘research myself’, I was seeking answers to why I felt down even though circumstances around me were relatively good. What I began to notice in my Facebook memories was a slight – then obvious – shift in my mood. Timed exactly with Fall and Winter, my posts showed me that I was sad. Year after year and during the exact same time period. One could argue that those months are more aligned with loss, as many family members have passed on and those are the periods of intense fellowship – Thanksgiving…Christmas. Maybe it’s linked to the end of the semester and as a professor that means we are inundated with grading and complaints/concerns. However, these trends went back nearly ten years, before career and loss.
I’ve known for a while that bouts with depression are not uncommon for me – one of the many reasons I support the hashtag #BlackTherapyMatters. In truth, everyone who wants to see a therapist should feel no shame in that, but they aren’t always available or encouraged in the black community.
Some use social media as therapy. After all, Facebook was created as a community. Communities share common interests but varying personalities – some are more active, some less – some more vocal – some only share certain parts about life outside of the community. Wherever you sit on the spectrum, the apps/websites where you choose to share connect you with other people.
Sharing experiences through posts/stories is my one true act of vulnerability. As Brene Brown says in her recent Netflix special The Call to Courage:
“There are millions of cheap seats in the world today filled with people who will never once step foot in that arena. They will never once put themselves out there”.
Perhaps I am more vulnerable (open) during bouts of seasonal depression (which is likely why writing this right now – in Springtime – feels less therapeutic and more uncomfortable). Perhaps this post is meant to help someone else.
I never would have guessed that Facebook would help me to discover why I was feeling depressed, but I am thankful that it did. It helps me to understand more about myself and what my needs are. These days, I tend to leave the blinds open and let in more natural light. I know I’ll likely never live or work in a building that is deprived of this very thing. I notice an immediate upbeat in my spirit when the sun shines – and I take more walks because of this. I know how to prepare for next Fall.
Maybe you’ll find out something in your memories too...
